I just went and saw the movie, I Can Only Imagine about Bart Millard, the lead singer of MercyMe’s life, and about the song that came about as a result of his journey. Let me tell you, it was an absolutely wonderful, amazing movie, and it stirred something in me that has been hidden for a while. First of all, it showed me that I needed to forgive those in my life that I have found it hard to forgive. Next, it reminded me that God can use any of our circumstances for good. It reminded me that we should never give up on our dreams, no matter what. If God has given us a talent, skill, ability, or interest, we should figure out how to cultivate and harness that thing and use it for his glory. God is not done with you, your story isn’t over yet…in fact, it’s just beginning. You never know what God is going to do to change you, and you never know how he’s going to use your experiences to shape your life and maybe even the lives around you. It shows you the importance of being open and available to God, and saying a daily yes to him, and seeing how he uses you.
I know it’s been a while since I posted anything here, life has just been crazy busy lately! Work tends to do that to you, lol. However, I am super excited, because today I got a Macbook Pro! I have been wanting one for the longest time, and I was finally able to get one today. It’s so nice. No more annoying Windows glitches or crashes to contend with anymore, just the sweet, sweet ease of use that comes with the use of a Mac.
Also, this computer will work much better for graphic design, photo editing, and more. Not to mention, it came pre-installed with GarageBand, so I can even start recording songs I learn how to play on the piano. I’m very excited for all of this!
Finally, the computer in general is much easier than Windows ever was when it comes to use and navigation, and everything is just so much nicer in general. I always said I would get a MacBook, and now that I have one, I am very happy, because I finally have a decent computer that I don’t have to worry about being tethered to (in terms of being stuck in the bedroom if I want to use it), and I can also take it just about anywhere with me, which will make it easier for me to show things to my friends and family members when I want them to look at what I am seeing on my screen.
This is so exciting!
Anyway, I hope to have more posts coming throughout this month, so stay tuned for more.
You never realize how good it feels to be free from the horrid uniforms that you have to wear in retail (or most corporate, customer-facing companies, for that matter), until you finally are free. For years, I hated wearing my various companies’ uniforms. It didn’t make me feel like part of the team at all, it just made me feel frumpy and unnoticed, if anything else. I looked just like everyone else, so there was nothing unique or individual about me. Fortunately, when I started my job at this new company a few weeks ago, one of the many blessings that came with it is that, while I still have to wear professional clothing, it can still be business casual. And, even more importantly, every Friday is casual Friday. We’re talking jeans and t-shirts or hoodies! Yay!
Now, I never really realized how badly uniforms affected me emotionally until my last few months at my former company. I was craving some sort of self-expression, and I finally found a shrug that the company had created for us to wear, and since I could wear solid-colored shirts underneath it (gray, blue, black, white, etc.) I felt semi-empowered. I finally had a choice in regard to what I wore! And it finally gave me an excuse to wear jewelry! Normally, I only wear my wedding ring and that’s it, because there haven’t really been many opportunities for me to express myself in the workplace. Now, however, that has all changed. At my new company, I can wear a nice sweater, a dress, pretty much whatever I want as long as it meets the business-casual criteria, which really isn’t all that hard to fulfill at all.
There are many reasons why my depression has lifted, and most of them are job-related, but I think my clothing is honestly the biggest reasons. Perhaps it also has to do with the fact that we have casual Fridays. I love wearing some of my favorite t-shirts with various sayings on them to work, to see who gets the reference. So far, this is the only one that I have worn on a casual Friday, and no one really noticed it, but I’m hoping they eventually will.
I also found out that we have a Christmas party every year at my company, and do Secret Santa. We had that at my last company, but it was a holiday party, and Secret Santa had to be called “Secret Friend.” However, this company is so laid-back that I don’t think most people mind calling it Christmas or Secret Santa. Anyway, I’m going to find out if the party happens during the workday, or after-hours. If it is hosted after-hours, and if we don’t have to dress professionally for it, or if we have an ugly sweater contest, then I am totally going to wear this. I bought it specifically for use around the holidays for two reasons. First, I love the Lion King. It is absolutely my favorite Disney movie ever. Second, who doesn’t want an ugly Christmas sweater?
Finally, being able to dress the way that I want to opens up more doors for me in terms of conversation, which means that I can spark more friendships, find common interests, get recommendations on where to shop for certain items, etc. There’s just so much freedom in wearing what you want. I fully believe that we wear that which we want to define us, because we like it, and our likes and dislikes are part of who we are. Therefore, when I can wear what I want, part of my true identity comes out. I don’t feel like I have to hide in my shell anymore, I can just be myself. And what a beautiful feeling it is to simply be oneself.
True happiness has always been something that has seemed to elude me, except for fleeting moments of bliss. That being said, there are things and people in my life that continue to make me happy. For starters, Christ makes me completely happy. He is my one true rock and source of life. To him be the glory and power forever, amen! Next, of course, is my wonderful husband. As long as we are together, I know I am loved and protected, and life is good. He is another amazing source of happiness and strength for me. Finally, my kitty, Saber. She makes me happy when I come through the door after work, because she is bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and wanting to see me and play with me! She also likes to curl up on my lap and sleep there while I watch TV on my days off. Whose heart wouldn’t melt over that?
Of course, while all of these things make me completely happy, there are also areas of life that I have been unhappy. I have felt like I have wanted to make a difference for so long, and instead, felt as though I was simply moving from one meaningless task to another. However, finally, finally, I am moving into a position that will allow me to make a difference. It will be a subtle, behind-the-scenes difference, but that’s just fine with me, because I know that what I will be doing is actually important, and actually helps people get the care they need.
I have also felt like, due to my long work hours, I have been neglecting to spend time with the people that I care about. This will not be an issue any longer, and thus, will make me happier, as I can continue to cultivate these relationships and show people how much I really do care.
Finally, I don’t have to worry about getting screamed at by customers anymore, or put into stressful situations that could impact everyone in the company. This job is a desk job, a cubicle job, on a computer, editing documents, and that is exactly the way that I like it. It’s what I’m good at, it’s something I’m passionate about, and something that I could definitely see myself doing for years to come. Only seven more days til I start. I can’t wait! I’m so excited! This, then, as well as continuing to bond with Christ, my husband, and my kitty cat, is my pursuit of happiness, and I am glad that I am on this path. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Where I live, the skies are gray quite often. Fortunately, there isn’t really anything going on right now that can cause those skies to ruin my day. I’ve been spending time with friends and family, celebrating different fun events and occasions over the course of this month, and even interviewing for a few jobs. I actually just interviewed for one today that seems extremely promising. In fact, they’re having me come back tomorrow, and I will get to interview with their CEO, who operates out of their location in my city, so I’m hoping that I get offered the job. It would be something that I would really enjoy, the pay is exactly what I had hoped for, there are benefits, paid vacation, major holidays off, and they’re very family-oriented, which is exactly what I’m looking for. They seem like an awesome place to work. I’m super excited, and I hope that I get the job. I’ve been looking for something like this for a while. Fingers crossed that I get it! Is it wishful thinking to hope that I get offered the job on the spot? Probably. They said I probably won’t know for about two weeks until they’ve made their decision, but whether the answer is yes or no, they’ll for sure tell me either way. The interviewer and I had a great conversation today, and it was actually quite fun talking to her. I hope I make as good an impression on the CEO tomorrow, if not better than I already did with the primary interviewer today. Wish me luck!
So in short, the skies may be gray, but in my world, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, life is good, and nothing can get me down! I’ll post updates tomorrow, hopefully, if time permits.